Comparing The Meanings & Rise Of The "Pick Me Girl" vs "Pick Me Boy"

Comparing The Rise Of The "Pick Me" Girl vs Boy

#pickme #pickmegirl #pickmeboy #commentary #psychology #taramookney

This video is inspired by the YouTuber Tara Mookney—she had an amazing “Pick Me Girl” video on her channel that either got privated or deleted. Because the video was so good, I am recreating it with my own twist, paraphrasing & going off of some of the points she made. 

Back in 2020, we saw a rise in the popularity of the term being a “pick me.” While the pick me girl is more commonly referenced, do not be fooled, because there is definitely also pick me boys. While being a pick me isn’t a medical diagnosis, it has a strong presence in Gen Z & millennial TikTok pop culture. We are going to compare the two and dissect their meanings.

Both pick me girls and pick me boys have one main goal, and that is to attract a partner. Now, it’s human nature to want to find a relationship, but the difference is that pick me girls and boys. Do it by differentiating themselves from other people of the same gender. Each gender classically strives for this goal with 2 opposing behaviors. One of my TikTok follower's said, they cancel each other out, and we will get into why that is, or is not the case.

By the way, my channel is taking off, and I wanted to say "THANK YOU" so much if you’re a subscriber! If you are not, feel free to hit the free subscribe button and bell to stay updated with my content.

Now, this word gets thrown around a lot. Simply going out of your way to flirt with guys and wanting to be “picked” as a girlfriend doesn’t make you a "pick me" girl.

What these definitions point out is that "pick me" girl attracts attention by putting down other women. That really is a hallmark of a "pick me" female. When it comes to locking down a heterosexual romantic relationship, other women are competition, and to the "pick me" girl, it must be known that she is better than them.

First off, everyone has felt insecure about something at some point in their life. Without a doubt, some insecurities run deeper than others. For example, in med school, if I didn’t do as well as I wanted on an exam in med school, I would feel insecure about it. In order to overcome that lack of confidence, I would work harder and address my weaknesses in order to do well on the next test.


Now, I think, "pick me" behaviors, in general, are rooted in insecurities towards relationships. Many people have felt a lack of confidence in the dating world, but how you cope with that uncertainty makes a huge difference.

The pick me girl interested in a heterosexual relationship sees other females as a danger or threat to her ability to find a boyfriend. In order to soothe that anxiety, what does she do? Leveling. She cuts other women down and boasts about herself.

Thank you for watching and feel free to subscribe for more
-Dr. Ryan